Ianthe is having a conversation with everyone inside her head that’s still awake when Rei, Faris, and Jay arrive at her house.
    “Hi, Ianthe, or whoever’s in control!” Rei says cheerfully.
    “Hi, guys!!” she cheers, getting up. “It’s me, Asuka! I’ve been SO bored, talking to the rest of these idiots! It’s great to see you all again! Well, except for you, Jay.”
    “Nice to see you too, Asuka,” he replies dryly.
    “Ne, Asuka-chan!” Faris says cheerfully. “I’ve got a bunch of friends I’m going to the Summer’s Festival with that I’d like you, Jay, and Rei to meet! There’s this one guy, James, I just KNOW you’ll love to torture... he’s just like Shinji, except dumber!”
    Ianthe/Asuka smirks. “That’s hard to believe!” She cracks her knuckles, grinning wickedly. “Let’s go meet this wuss friend of yours!!”
    Her blue eyes switch to purple suddenly, and Ianthe suddenly yells, “ASUKA!! Leave Faris’ freakin’ friends alone!!!”
    “Hi, Ianthe,” Rei smiles. “Let’s go see Faris’ psycho new friends!” She turns to her lavender-haired friend. “They are psycho, right?”
    “VERY psycho.”
    “YoSHA!!” Ianthe cheers.
 
 

     Batts turns his head as Faris, Rei, Jay, and Ianthe approach the minivan he is lying just outside of. <Hello.>
    She smiles. “Hey, Batts. Can you take us to where Starr went?”
    <Yes,> he replies. White teleportational light overcomes all of them, including the minivan, and they disappear.

     James is happily finishing his white freezie on Starr’s friend Jason’s front porch, much to the amusement of Jessie, Starr and Jason, when Batts, Faris and three of her friends (along with the minivan) appear in the shimmer of white light, signaling Batts has teleported them here.
    “Hey, Faris! Come, join the insanity. Here, have a freezie.” Starr hands Faris a blue freezie. “Who are your friends?”
    “This is Rei and Jay,” Faris says, introducing them. “The girl who’s talking to the people inside her head is Ianthe…well, sort of. She may be someone else right now.”
    “Cool. Multiple personalities fit right in here,” Alex says.
    “Are you Ianthe now?” Faris asks.
    Ianthe nods and greets James-tachi with, “Hi, my name’s Ianthe, and—”
    Suddenly her eyes turn red, and an unnaturally deep voice says, “WELCOME TO YOUR HELL!!!!!”
    Everyone blinks.
    Ianthe’s eyes turn purple again and she snaps, “Shut up, Satan!!”
    “Sorry,” Ianthe/Satan mutters. “But you NEVER let me greet people!!!”
    “That’s because you’re the embodiment of all evil!!!!”
    “Well, everyone’s got their faults...”
    Jessie and James are holding each other and shivering violently.
    “She’s scaring me, Jessie!!” James wails.
    Faris says, “Told you they’d scare you, James.”
    “You didn’t tell me they were THIS bad!!!”
    Ianthe smiles. “Well then, you should let everyone ELSE greet them!”
    “Everyone ELSE!?!?!” Jessie and James exclaim in perfect sync.
    “Wow, there’s more than just Ianthe and Satan?” Jason exclaims. “Kick-ass.”
    James starts crying, waterfalls of tears streaming from his eyes. “I’m scared!!! Really really scared!!!!!”
    Ianthe’s eyes turn sky blue, signaling that one Sohryuu Asuka Langley is now in control.
    Ianthe/Asuka glares at James and points a finger at him. “You WIMP!! What are you crying like a little girl for!? Grow up and get a spine!!” She smacks him, to make her point extra-clear.
    Jessie exclaims, “HEY!” and jumps to her feet. Pointing at Ianthe/Asuka, she growls,  “Listen, girl, I don’t care WHO you are, you leave him alone!”
    Ianthe/Asuka retorts, “What are you standing up for a wuss like him for?”
    Jessie blinks.
    A few moments of silence go by.
    Finally she replies, “That’s... nothing you have to know...”
    Ianthe/Asuka smirks mischievously. “I bet you’ve been riding his baloney pony!!”
    Jessie leaps about eight feet in the air, coming down with tiny fangs and screeching, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”
    Ianthe’s eyes turn green, signalling that Ohtori Akio is now in control, and s/he says smoothly,  “Please forgive her, Jessie-san. Asuka is very bad-tempered.” Taking a step forward, s/he goes on, “…and is always extremely jealous of great beauties like yourself.”
    Jessie’s eyes bug out slightly.
    Faris snickers. “Feel special, Jessie... you’re yet another girl that Akio wants to get in his pants.”
    Jessie turns a fascinating shade of vibrant crimson. “You shut up!!”
    Ianthe/Akio turns on the *ahem* charm even more. “I can tell just by looking at you that you’re going to be a wild one...” S/he draws closer, going on, “Care to have a little dinner-and-dessert in bed?”
    Jessie twitches slightly, her face growing redder by the second.
    Suddenly Ianthe/Akio becomes Ianthe/Kunou. Now with brown eyes, she declares,  “Silence, knave!! How dare you speak to such a lovely young lady in such vile terms!” With a sweeping bow, s/he takes Jessie’s hand, murmuring,  “Ahh, my redheaded goddess... you’ve captured my heart... I love you! I would date with you!”
    Jessie twitches once more, then starts screaming.
    “NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”
    She turns to run away and gets about five feet before she slams into a tree and falls to the ground, knocked out cold.
    James stares at her cluelessly.
    Ianthe’s eyes go green again. As Akio, she pouts. “Oh, wonderful. You scared her off.”
    Then s/he sees James. Quickly snapping out of the deep blue funk, s/he says suavely, “HEL-loooo....”
    James looks around wildly and freezes in panic when he realizes Ianthe’s talking to him. He just stands there wide-eyed and shivering as Ianthe walks up and kneels in front of him face-to-face.
    “Aren’t YOU a pretty one...” Ianthe/Akio says.
    James acquires a frankly immense sweatdrop and utters, “Uhh... uhhhh....”
    Akio runs a hand through James’s hair. “Mmmm... you’ve got nice, silky hair...” Then, much to James’s concern/absolute panic, s/he puts his face close to his. “You have a beautiful face, you know that? As beautiful as Utena’s...”
    “Okay, that’s enough of that.” Faris strides over and bestows upon Akio the dreaded Whappies From Hell™. “Akio, get away from James.”
    Ianthe’s eyes turn sea blue. As Kaioh Michiru, she stands and says, “Akio is disgusting. I apologize for what he said to you, James.
    James looks rather dazed. His mouth opens and closes for a bit. Finally he manages, “Uhhhh...”
    Michiru laughs. “Ara, looks like Akio was too much for him to handle.”
    Rei rolls her eyes. “He’s like that.”
    Jason picks up a stick and pokes Jessie’s hair with it. The stick snaps in half. Jason blinks a few times. “Damn.”
    Starr rolls her eyes, states, “I’m used to this,” and calmly empties the contents of a freezie wrapper onto Jessie. Seeing as the temperature of the freezie is around that of liquid nitrogen (Kenji and Jason’s freezer is presently broken), Jessie immediately wakes up.
    “WHO DID THAT??????” she demands.
    Starr raises her hand.
    Jessie growls for a second, but soon calms down at the sight of Ianthe talking to everyone inside her head again. She inches away, then says, “So, where are we going to stay tonight?”
    Faris blinks, then says slowly, “I already TOLD you, my aunt Lenna’s house, which is just south of here. Before we go, though, we’ll have to pick up some groceries. The only people who go there are the people who go over every once in a while to keep the place in shape, and I doubt they do grocery shopping. Technically, nobody’s lived at Aunt Lenna’s place for a long time…”
    Mid-sentence, Faris’ voice becomes slightly distant. Starr notices this and wonders why. She isn’t able to dismiss it as ‘Just Nothing’.
    ‘Maybe later I’ll ask Faris what’s up…’

     “I STILL don’t see why the twerps had to come!” Jessie complains, balancing two large-size bottles of Coke as Ash charges off to retrieve a frozen pizza, nearly bowling her over in the process. When he returns with it, he repeats this act and hands the pizza off to Starr.
    “I have a feeling we shouldn’t have given you sugar,” Starr comments.
    “The ‘twerps’ are coming along because I want them to, Jessie,” Faris tells her smoothly. “If you don’t like it, you can always hitchhike back to Viridian.”
    Jessie visualizes the Boss’ reaction when she comes back empty-handed and alone, and cringes. “I hate being your subordinate.”
    Ash shrugs, not knowing the definition of ‘subordinate’ (Faris herself is mildly surprised that Jessie used it in context), then turns to Faris with a puzzled look on his face. “I’ve been meaning to ask something…I don’t want to sound ungrateful or anything, but how come you’re being so nice to us? I always thought Team Rocket members were all jerks.”
    “Oh, thanks a lot.” Starr makes a face.
    Brock whaps Ash twice. “Don’t talk about them like that!”
    Ash grumbles and rubs his head, then goes on, “But you and Starr both seem really nice. What made you join Team Rocket, anyway?”
    Starr looks over at the drooling Brock, turns red, and shakes her head. Brock is still smitten with both her and Faris, despite being aware of the fact that they’re in Team Rocket.
    Faris seems unperturbed by both the Whappies and Ash’s question. Looking at him, she replies, “I’ll tell you later, if you want. The middle of a busy supermarket isn’t exactly the greatest place for a private conversation.”
    “Oh…” is Ash’s only answer to that.
    The awkward silence is broken by a question from James. “Don’t they have seafood pizza?”
    “Why, you like seafood?” Starr asks.
    Faris acquires an evil grin. “He likes shrimp.”
    James looks over at her and blinks, lower lip sticking out. He senses he’s being made fun of but can’t quite grasp the concept of the humour. “What? Of course I like shrimp.”
    “Shrimp is good with white sauce,” Jessie puts in.
    With this she, Faris and Starr all begin snickering uncontrollably. Brock looks a little put off.
    “What are they talking about seafood for?” Ash asks Brock, puzzled.
    Brock doesn’t answer.
    “James, do you like shrimp with white sauce?” Starr asks, a wicked smirk painted on her face.
    “You mean tartar sauce? Of course!” James smiles, thinking he’s finally clued in.
    Faris, Jessie and Starr only laugh harder.
    James scratches his head.
    “How can such pretty girls know such gross humour…?” Brock wonders as they pass the fruit display. Raichu swallows an apple whole, then looks innocent.
    “Pop a cherry,” Faris remarks.
    “Mixed nuts,” Starr adds.
    “Crushed nuts,” Jessie grins evilly.
    Brock is gradually blushing redder and redder, and James continues to look clueless and confused. Ash and Misty regard the former with interest. “Weird. I didn’t see any girls go by,” Misty finally says.
    Finally, the grocery run/sick joke competition ends. Faris and the others load all the groceries into the back of the minivan and drive off, heading for Lenna’s house.
    Once in the car, Ash says, “So…why?”
    Faris asks without turning to him, since she is driving, “Why what?”
    “Why’d you join Team Rocket?”
    Faris thinks for a bit, then replies, “I joined because I didn’t really know what to do with my life.”
    Ash looks slightly doubtful about this. Misty notices and points out, “Well, if you were as good at so many things, you’d be the same way! If she competed at the Pokémon League championships, she’d probably be declared the best Pokémon Master in the world!”
    “HEY!” Ash says indignantly.
    “What? It’s true!”
    Faris ends the argument before it can start by saying calmly, “I don’t want to be the best Pokémon Master in the world, because then everyone else would challenge me to take my place. Plus,” she adds with a faint grin, “you don’t get paid for being a Pokémon Master. I’d rather be gym leader, because then at least if I’m constantly battling I’ll get paid.”
    Ash snorts. “Just like a Team Rocket member. Always thinking about cash.”
    Faris awards his comment with a cold glare. “You can’t live without money to buy food and other supplies with. I’d like to see you end up to be the world’s greatest Pokémon Master with no cash.”
    Ash looks thoughtful. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Sorry.”
    Starr grins. “Cash is good. Cash is always very good. Like when James is cross-dressing. You can whip a penny at his head.”
    Faris promptly busts up laughing.
    “HEY!” James wails.
    Faris grins, saying, “Give James a break, Starr. You have to admit, he looks awfully cute in a skirt.”
    Starr nods. “But you have to admit it’s scary that his legs look exactly the same as Jessie’s when he’s wearing a really short skirt.”
    Meowth, meanwhile, is tunneling under the seat.
    “What are you doing?” Misty asks, looking down at him.
    “Looking for that penny. I like shiny things,” Meowth replies.
    Starr sweatdrops. “It was a hypothetical penny.”
    Meowth emerges, looking pissed off. “Hypothetical? What good is that?!”
    Faris starts laughing all over again. “You can use a hypothetical penny to squish James’ hypothetical brain.”
    “You’re mean!” James whines.
    “Damn straight!” Faris returns.
    “But using a penny would be pointless overkill,” Starr protests. “All you need is to direct a well-aimed small molecule at James’ brain to squish it.”
    Faris snickers. “Yeah, you could flick air at him and he’d crash to the ground, whining from the pain.”
    Brock raises his hand. “Uh, just one question before we stray from the topic any further?”
    “Yes, Brock-kun?” Faris replies.
    Brock looks pleased at being called ‘-kun’ and goes on, “You said you wanted to be a gym leader, right?”
    Faris shakes her head. “I didn’t say that. I said I’d rather be a gym leader than a Pokémon master.” Then she looks thoughtful and adds, “But…yeah, I’d like to be a gym leader; I think I’d make a good one.”
    Starr nods. “Of course you would. I mean, take a look at Usa-chan clobbering Weezing.”
    James sniffles. “That’s a painful memory.”
    “Oh, shut up, you,” Faris says. “Besides, that wasn’t even a tough win! You could flick air at Weezing and it’d faint.”
    Ash laughs. “I can see that happening!”
    “Shut up!” James snaps, clobbering Ash.
    Starr blinks. “What is with all this talk of flicking air?”
    Faris shrugs. “It seems a reasonably pathetic comparison.”
    Starr grins. “Hee hee. I’m such an obsessive freak. Whenever anyone says ‘pathetic’ it reminds me of Sephiroth’s description of Cloud.”
    “Sephiroth…?” James muses. “Oh, you mean that guy you thought I was that time—EEEEE!”
    Starr has collared James. She growls, “Ix-nay.”
    Faris grins. “You thought James was Sephiroth?”
    Starr drops James and sighs. “Well, I have a hyper, obsessive imagination, and when someone wearing black gloves grabs my shoulder whilst I am playing Final Fantasy VII, I don’t exactly think.”
    Faris begins to snicker. “You thought James was Sephiroth? James, who shaves his legs?”
    Brock looks disgustedly at James. “You shave your legs??”
    “I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” James snarls, only inches short of flame mode.
    Faris nods patronizingly, smirking. “Yes, that explains why they’re so silky smooth.”
    “And you would know his legs are silky smooth because….?” Starr raises her eyebrows.
    Jessie begins giggling insanely.
    Faris elbows her. “Shut up, you.”
    Jessie only giggles more. “Looks like Faris and James are having a lover’s quarrel….”
    Faris smiles sweetly into the mirror. “Misty, be a dear and clobber her.”
    “With pleasure!” Misty replies cheerfully, whapping Jessie.
    There’s a hollow knocking noise and Jessie smiles proudly. “See, wearing so much gel can come in handy sometimes!” she explains as Misty rubs her sore hand.
    “Pi pikachu!” Pikachu contradicts, promptly pulling a bucket of ice water from the void and dumping it over Jessie’s head.
    “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Jessie screams.
    Whilst the chaos is ensuing, Brock leans forward and says to Faris, “Y’know, I’m a former gym leader….if you want, the two of us could have dinner together and talk about it!”
    “Are you trying to hit on me?” Faris says.
    Brock reddens. “Uh…”
    Faris replies, “I’ll talk to you about being a gym leader, but I’m only having dinner with you if it’s casual and with everyone else.”
    Brock hangs his head. Guessing this is as good as it’s going to get, he agrees.
    “It’s okay, Brock,” Starr reassures him. “You’ll find the right person someday.”
    Brock immediately turns his attention to Starr. “Care to help me find her? …Or maybe she’s talking to me right now!”
    Starr drops her head. “Be thankful I don’t know the Giga Slave.”
    Faris comments, “Don’t you think the Giga Slave is a little bit overkill? A good Fireball would do just as well, and a Fireball wouldn’t accidentally return the world to a void of nothingness in the process.”
    “And here I was preaching about overkill. Fire is good. Fire is always good.”
    “If you wanted to do some Big-Ass damage, a Dil Brand would do as well,” she adds.
    Jessie, now peeved at being soaking wet and unable to find her gel, cracks, “I thought you loved James, so why are you giving her suggestions how to kill him? Is he too annoying for you already? If you can’t take it—”
    Without warning, Faris floors it, then screeches the mini-van to a halt. Snapping into flame mode, she says in a voice that would make Luna Inverse back away, “DON’T PISS OFF THE DRIVER.”
    Jessie shrinks away, then says in a teeny voice, “Yes’m.”
    That taken care of, Faris pops in another tape of anime songs.